Home He Comes

Today Nick came home from rehab. He's back. The good Nick. The Nick I haven't known in several months. He actually loved Connifer park and didn't want to leave once he got out of detox. He met many characters and is full of many stories about his month. He was diagnosed with a form of fibromyalgia which probably was result of the accident he had about 4 years ago when he was back ended by some kid on the outside of Earlville. Because he had a seatbelt on the impact has caused him to suffer from his lung collapsing on many occasions. He's been in pain ever since. It's gonna be a long haul but Nick is determined to stay drug free and to go to narcotic meetings. All I can do is feed him, keep a roof over his head, and support him as much as possible and pray he doesn't fall back into his old ways. He's twenty two and an adult. I have no control. Nick has always been a free spirit. The apple didn't fall far from the tree. So, now I will hold my breath until his court date on March 7th. That aught to be interesting.
The Colgate Inn job is going well! I'm gigging there next Tuesday for some NICE money!!! I'm hoping this is the beginning of many more happy, healing healthy times ahead!

Dark Times

So I'm sitting here drinking purple hibiscus tea at the Barge Canal Coffee house the day after the most dysfunctional, lazy Saturday I've had in complete ages. I'm damaged goods after the whole Nick drama nightmare. Tonight is the super bowl, not that I care about foot ball in the least. Madonna should be entertaining at half time and the commercials are always fun. I'm trying hard to fight the darkness that creeps into my soul when ever I think back to all the troubles Nick has gone through and all the trouble's I'm scared of yet to come. I'm so ever thankful of my husband, and family for their support. I never thought I'd be living in fear like I have the last several months. Nick did call on Friday morning and was still downstairs in detox. He was calling from a phone booth and the connection was kinda choppy. He did say he was looking forward to getting upstairs to be able to use the gym, the food was descent and he spent the past two nights with a older drunk man. Just what you want to hear from your son. Nick is where he needs to be and I'm so relieved. It's really a blessing no one was hurt or injured. The DWI will hopefully be reduced to and AI and will be cheaper than a funeral. Now to figure out where he's gonna get the money to pay for his tickets. I don't have it.
The picture on this post I just recently found on my laptop desktop downloaded by Nick, and it just so symbolizes Nick breaking out and growing upward. I hope he gets the counseling he so desperately needs.
Maybe I should get a little counseling too.
I picked up two extra shifts this week at the Colgate Inn and my trusty, old white Kitchen Aid mixer has inspired me to make shrimp scampi with home made pasta for tonights feast for the super bowl. I'll make myself stay busy to get through the dark times. A good old fashioned blizzard would work wonders for me as well in all it's cleansing whiteness.

He Said He Wanted Rehab I Said Yes Yes Yes!

I have to blog about this. As hard and bad and dirty this nightmare has been, I know I'm not alone in this drug infected world.
Nick is at last in rehab and getting the help he so badly needs. His whole life has been on a down ward spiral since he was 15 Now at the age of 22 the problems have gotten much worse. In all my life I have never seen a kid with the luck Nick has. The trouble has gone on and on and on. I'm just a bug in a wind tunnel with no power to control it. My words have meant nothing all these years and Nick has pretty much fucked up everything he has touched. Then came last summer. He was doing so well working for the Reverend. He had a lovely girlfriend and was productive and happy. For three months he was in a mentally great place and I thought there might be a light at the end of his shit hole of a tunnel. Then the job ended and the girlfriend dumped him and its been all down hill from there. He got a DWI two Saturdays ago landing him in Madison County Jail. Luckily his father was in town and together we bailed him out and got him to the hospital to detox. A very scary long day. But, it brought him and I and Nick's father closer together. There was a lot of love seeping out of the destruction.
I can't even begin to go into detail of everything that has gone down this last week as my head is spinning and I have a lot of healing myself to do. A woman by the name of Janet Gillette at the medicaid office has pushed his application for medicaid through allowing Nick to enter rehab and will cover his medical expenses. And the bills are coming in. Oh my god. I'm thinking Janet is distantly related to good ole Chester, and Chester is working his magic helping my hoodlum kid out. It's crazy I know but I totally believe in coincidences.
So, the back boy bedroom from hell has been once again shoveled out and cleaned. All Nick's clothing and bedding, laundered and all his stuff organized. He will not be returning from rehab to live at 1038 Williams Road. He goes to Maine with his father. I've done all I can do and I'm done. Its a new beginning for the both of us. And about time.