The Shock

I'm sitting in the Hilton Hotel in Albany after having a short walking tour of the states capital, the Egg and a few other historical buildings. Completely out of my element. We are having a Brown family holiday and rented three small, cozy cabins on Fish Creek in a dilapidated town out side of Rome NY called Taberg. We toured Fort Stanwick on probably the coldest day of the year one day and skied Woods Vally with the kids the next. Now we are in Albany for two nights. Bill's nephew's wedding is this evening. I'm trying my best to get on with things. My sister is gone as Ma described it. "Cancer reared its ugly head one more time and took her." I just don't know how to write about it. From which angle. I just don't have words to describe the shock and the loss of the emptiness. She's gone. The gray days of winter certainly don't help me...I pray for the powder blue skies of winter. The same blue color her eyes turned as she passed into the skies of heaven, leaving me in this undescribable shock of living out the rest of my life with out her. Last Tuesday was her birthday. She would have been 52. There was never a more beautiful and more feisty a woman as my sister.